Vera met Patrick, a 1987 alumnus, through one of Patrick’s UVA brothers, Stuart Chasanoff.
Born in Holmdel, New Jersey, of Boston College, Vera was working in a law firm’s recruiting office when Chasanoff, a summer firm employee, told Vera about a great friend he wanted to introduce to Vera.
Vera was fascinated, but didn’t want to go on a blind date alone.
Eventually, the three of them agreed to all go out together and meet at a place called the Caliente Cab Company near Vera’s home in the West Village.
Sitting on the patio and drinking cocktails from mason jars, Patrick, a big sports fan, and Vera, a former cheerleader at Boston College – she was on the sidelines for Doug Fluti’s famous “Hail Mary” pass, which defeated the University of Miami in a nationwide Televised soccer game – fuck off.
“It was total love at first sight,” says Vera. “He was so handsome, so charming. It was immediately electric. “
Vera quickly learned of Patrick’s passion for fishing – and basketball. Patrick, who lived in west Manhattan, was a regular pickup player with the 92nd Street YMCA, where he coordinated a league. Patrick was only six feet tall and wore a bandana when he played.
Vera realized that for Patrick basketball was as much a social as a sporting endeavor. Everyone seemed to know Patrick. When they went out, they kept running into people Patrick played with.
Patrick’s older sister, Lori-Jean Murphy, broke into a big smile as she remembered Patrick organizing pickup games near her home in Beach Haven, New Jersey by simply walking outside and his ball down the street towards the public square, screaming for people to come to play.
“And the people followed him to the court!” She said with a laugh. “He had a way through him. He was really engaging and had a really big smile. He was just very personable. “
“He was just the type everyone wanted to know and everyone wanted to be their friend,” said Ed Cappabianca, another former fraternity fraternity.
One thing Vera couldn’t quite get across to Patrick was the seemingly exaggerated adoration of his alma mater.
“I said, ‘This is an obsession with you,'” she said, smiling as she remembered the memory. “I said, ‘What is this college about?’
“I loved Boston College; I had a great time … but he was … it was his whole being, his heart. It was always, ‘Oh my god, we have to go.’ It was a big deal for him to take me to UVA. He had to introduce me and show me around, prepare and explain me.
“We walked across the lawn and went into the rotunda and we walked down the serpentine wall and went to Monticello. He just had to tell me all the amazing things about the university. “
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Patrick, an Albany, New York native who grew up in Princeton Junction, New Jersey, was a thoroughly preppy, according to Lori-Jean Murphy. Lori-Jean, who attended Virginia Tech, said pink plaid shorts and bow ties were staples in her brother’s wardrobe.
“Patrick would never have fit in with Virginia Tech – never,” she said with a smile. “He was definitely a UVA man.”
Cappabianca said the UVA’s Alpha Delta Phi fraternity group (which no longer exists) would not have got off the ground if it hadn’t been for Patrick, who recruited the majority of its members. Patrick served as Resident Advisor throughout his tenure at UVA, which made it easy to fulfill potential commitments.
“That was an important part of his personality because he loved looking after people and he also wanted to help his parents financially,” Cappabianca said, referring to the lower housing costs associated with the RA.
Patrick, an IT specialist at the School of Engineering and Applied Science, also had a part-time job in the IT department.
When he wasn’t studying, working or helping his young fraternity to get started, Patrick loved to sing – he was a member of the Madrigal Singers – and of course played a lot of pickup hoops. Patrick was always present in the Slaughter Rec Center and University Hall seats.
Cappabianca said he admired Patrick from the moment they met.
“He was such a strong, ethical character,” he recalls. “His moral compass was inviolable. If you wanted the best right answer, he was the man you would go to. You might not like the answer, but you would know it is the right one.
“He never let himself be deterred from doing what he thought was right and enjoyed, and at the same time he was incredibly open and accepted and welcomed everyone.”
Patrick could also make a base strawberry daiquiri (family members still use his recipe), and he had a dry sense of humor that kept everyone on their toes.
“He said something and you had to think twice if he was funny,” said Lori-Jean Murphy. “He was really funny.”
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After just six months of dating, Vera and Patrick began making engagement plans. They married in November 1991, honeymooned in Mexico, and began to build a life together.
To raise a family and look for a cheaper apartment, they moved to Millburn, New Jersey in 1995 before saving to buy a summer home in Beach Haven, a suburb of Ocean County, New Jersey located on the island Long Beach Island and borders the Atlantic Ocean.
In 1997 Patrick and Vera welcomed a son, Sean. Their daughter Maggie was born two years later.
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